And it doesn’t help that my body’s cold and my bones ache, the tears are burning hot as they rapidly glide down my face
And the world is empty, just like my heart and my stomach
But my mind is full of the terrors and “dreams”…(if I believed in nightmares, that would be the more appropriate term)
Dreams that hold the key to the closed doors that the largest secrets reside behind
And I can’t tell whose skeletons in the closet terrify and hurt me more
You can’t just let them go when their bony fingers clutch your wrists and hold your throat as soon as you wake
So you’re petrified in your sleep, where you should keep your escape, and you’re suffocating in reality
All you want is someone to hold you and say, “I’m here for you,” which is something you have never experienced without the unignorable hint of coldness and tainted sympathy
But all you get is, “fight the fear but embrace the pain,” which is probably what you need
But you can’t ignore the gaping whole in your heart and the deep pit in your stomach

And that loneliness is just as much of a fear as reliving my past.



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