What’s Inside

We’re the type of people who poison ourselves just to feel better

And clutch the edge of our seats, the top of our knees, the handles of our doors when we hear something that reminds us of the aches

We drink too fast, we talk too long, we smoke too much

Do you think we intended on our nights consisting of our heads in toilet bowls?

We never intended on wanting someone who isn’t the one we crave but our loneliness longs for them and we can’t help but let it consume our quiet moments and our late nights

It responds to our ignored texts and answers our calls that went straight to voicemail

And goddamn it, if you have to express your feelings for me through songs and lyrics then don’t fucking express them at all

I wish that I had told him that before because there are some songs that I just can’t listen to anymore

But my words get mistaken for lyrics sometimes so I guess that’s why he said that he didn’t want to hear my voice

Too many nights have we spent spilling our hearts out to strangers and lying on floors, sitting in the shower even though we already took one but hoping that this time the water will wash away some of what’s inside

You said, “Look at painful emotions you feel. Raw and naked.”

And this is it

This isn’t all, but this is what pain is

~Megan

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